The process of grieving anything is an intimidating and unwanted venture whether it is the loss of a loved one or the loss of anything we loved.
Though our internal system may utilize denial or avoidance as a necessary protective response until we are ready to face the loss, sooner or later we will need to work through it in order to move on from it.
Grief alters our perceptions and can reorder our belief system. Our confidence in how things work or should be fails and we’re left with the gut wrenching awareness of our vulnerability and lack of control. The death of someone or something we loved feels like the death of us. And in one sense it actually can be!
A part of us was formed around the life that contained that person or thing. This is true for facing not only death and loss in the natural but also in the spiritual. A spiritual “death” season is when an aspect of our faith, conceptualization of who we are or who God is, an accepted value or belief, or some part of our broken nature is challenged in some way.
The concept of death and resurrection is found in many places in the Bible within the stories of individuals, often invited by God to leave behind what was for the sake of something new.
Life on the other side of any kind of loss is going to be different.
A death is the end of an old thing and the opportunity for something new.
But our systems can take a while to accept this fact. After the COVID pandemic settled down worldwide the phrase, “finding a new normal” became popular. In processing grief and loss an essential step involves finding a healthy way to remember the loved one or thing lost while effectively moving on with life in the present. We need to eventually find our “new normal”.
What was must be released and let go, and the pain of this held and seen.
Something may need to be forgiven when we’re ready.
A healthy state of remembering or honouring the past before the loss will need to be sought without us getting stuck.
Unprocessed grief can erode our future as much as the event that caused it ambushed our past.
The path to be at peace again winds through the dark and thorny landscape of our delicate and wounded soul.
But for this there is a Healer. An advocate who understands death and overcame it.
The new will come. A new day and a new season lie ahead.
We will breathe again, love again and try again. There is no pad answers or universal “5 step” program for working through grief quickly and effectively. The heart sets it’s own pace and the Healer seems to honour that. There is, however, an invitation from Jesus to walk with Him through the centre of our broken heart and let Him bring the pieces together to whole again.
Our Father is faithful. When our faith fails He is willing to give us His.
We can overcome.
There is new life on the other side of the end
In my journey through grief and loss, I’ve discovered the power of honest prayer. Telling Him everything, no editing. This is the kind of prayer He enters into. Jesus actually won’t be shocked at what’s in our hearts. Father has proved Himself capable and willing to handle it. Sometimes He will give direct answers, and sometimes just His presence will be enough. We need encounter. We need to experience the love our Father and the Trinity has for us in order to heal.
I encourage you to take some time today to just centre on His presence and invite Him into what is troubling you. Invite Him into whatever you need to invite Him into. He loves to bring redemption and loves to help us overcome. He can do what no blog, counsellor or teacher can which is be present with us in every moment and reach into every part of your being to bring truth and love that makes us whole.
It will get better as we let Hope, Love and Truth in.
May the God of all comfort, comfort you as you walk through this.
“This is what the Lord, the God of your father David says, “I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you.”
(2 Kings 20:5)
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