After completing the last blog post here on self-compassion I felt like Jesus was asking me a question. Not the kind of question with a quick Sunday school answer but one that came with an invite to discover. I felt it as something like,
“So…where does love come from?”
I took a stab at it, “Uh…oh…you!” After giving that answer I had a quick flashback to my days in Sunday school where I would definitely be getting a sticker on the board for that answer!
However, it felt like that did not satisfy His question. So I tried again this time using a bible verse,
“Love comes from God” (Boom! For sure this had to be it!)
Thoroughly convinced that Jesus was impressed by my knowledge of His word I sat back and awaited the awarding of some kind of spiritual “sticker”.
The sense that this was going to take a while rose up in me. There is such a massive difference between knowing something in our heads and knowing something in our hearts. In this encounter, it was apparent Jesus was going for the latter. I knew He was inviting me to come and think deeper about what self-compassion really is.
In order to have compassion you need to connect to compassion from some source.
The picture of Jesus’ lifestyle of hanging out and eating with “sinners” has really stuck with me lately. The only ones who were really bothered by this were the religious folks. They were the people who were so convinced that God was a vengeful, angry, deity that they tried to do everything right in an effort to make themselves spiritually clean.
Our internal world is an ecosystem that quite accurately mimics this scenario. There are parts of us that are religious out of fear and protection; parts of us lost in sin and brokenness; parts of us longing for hope and connection etc. When I think about this, I picture the scene where Jesus is at the table eating with people that the religious people labeled “sinners” (Mark 2:13-17). I see Him in the middle of them all as they bring who they really are to the table. He is there with them not judging but listening and bringing all that He is to them.
That day those individuals hung out with Grace unmeasurable, and Love uncontainable. They chatted with Wisdom above all insight and Truth greater than all opinion. And He welcomed them.
This is what intimacy with God is like on the inside of us. It’s as though He sets up a table in the core of who we are and in a fashion true to His heart says, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest” (Matt. 11:28).
He welcomes every part of us on the good days and on the bad. So, love does come from God. How can we access this love and compassion for ourselves then? We open to and receive the compassion that already exists in Him.
Every time we have a negative thought, or feeling we can say, “Father I bring this to you.” This stops our well-meaning but damaging work of self-judgment and condemnation. Leaning on His compassion we can begin to heal in His love.
When we realize He is not reacting in fear or disdain at that thought, belief or emotion we just had, we can relax and get to know how to respond to ourselves more compassionately as well. I hope and pray for you to have this kind of encounter with who Father God really is. He is not far from any of us and open to all of us.
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