It happened again.
My perfectly curated plan for my life came face to face with the reality that I was trying to force it and I had to concede to do something I’m still uncomfortable with – slow down.
Yuck.
Wait? Wait for what? The world is moving and I feel like I’m standing still. How long have I been like this? I mean I was born premature, so barring all biological possibility I can’t help but wonder if even my poor mother was subjected to my anxious plan for my life!
Get busy, stay busy. Be good, be excellent.
The real kicker is people like me get praised for this. We win awards actually! It isn’t that being this way is all bad in itself, unless one day (like it has for me) it becomes abundantly clear that this quest to have everything under control has actually robbed life of the things that matter most.
Add to this faith and God. God is quite the problem when it comes to life planning you know why? He’s slow. Like, super slow.
Like for instance I’m walking with Jesus which turns into an all out sprint to a goal I thought He mentioned once only to turn around and see I’ve left Him in the dust. Here’s the thing; He doesn’t speed up. Nope. I impatiently have to walk back to wherever I last talked to Him only to find Him content as ever, sitting on the beach cooking up fish and saying really wise stuff (maybe if I had stuck around I could have got in on that!).
You see I invite stillness in one context of my life – worship. I love to just sit in God’s presence meet with Him and hear His voice there. However, when it comes to life decisions, destiny, money and circumstances it get’s messy.
The truth of the Bible verse, “Be still and know that I am God” (Ps.46:10) seems to be working in my private devotions but not so much in other areas of life.
Can you relate?
One of the greatest lessons we can receive from this verse lies within the wording itself. The Greek word for “know” in this verse is “ginosko” and it carries the meaning, “to come to know or experience”. The word is relational and experiential. If we insert this into the verse it reads, “Be still and [come to know] that I am God”.
Just breathe that in for a moment.
In the slowing down and stopping there is a life giving secret that can heal our souls anxiety.
God is God; He is good; and He is near.
The implications of that truth are enormous. I’ve been in and around faith communities and religion my whole life, yet so much of who God is still eludes me. However, in moments when I’m still with Him, my heart begins to learn so much about life, love, the world etc.
How can He teach so much without saying anything at all?
Well, because God is God I guess.
To the anxious places of our souls His presence speaks, “All is well. Just trust Me”. This reveals the difficulty of letting God lead. We have to come to believe in who He really is and what we mean to Him.
We have to learn to trust the relationship.
And to trust His love.
Through my years in the Christian faith I somehow picked up the notion that being led by the Spirit was primarily a means to receive power to do more stuff. Although He does empower and I do want to be a vessel for Him to touch the world around me, I’ve learned that being led by His Spirit is a deep journey for my soul to come to rest in the strength and power of His love.
We come home to Him.
His “house” and way of being are in stark contrast to our human ways. Jesus points this out when He invites,
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matt.11:28-30 MSG)
Even the most controlling parts of me agree living in rest, freedom and lightness sounds nice!
If this resonates with you too, you can respond by framing a prayer around these words or connecting with God in whatever way you enjoy. A prayer I’ve had is, “Father lead me to walk in your ways, to walk in grace and be led by You.” There are no magic words because it’s about our hearts connecting to His.
He’s already made Himself available. His presence is our home, and home is never far away.
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